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  A tale of two Libbys In memory of Libby Newman On Tuesday 14th September, 2004, Libby Newman died from a brief but intense cancer fire. Like the rest of the class of 1962, she was 58, too young to die, especially when she was having an extended prime! She was with her youngest son, Anthony (Pang), who held her hands, watched her breathe her last breath, and said to her the mantra they have always said when parting from each other: "I love you to the moon and stars, forever and ever, and to infinity, and all the way back again". In my life, there have always been two Libby's. Libby Newman (Skippen) and Libby Goodsir (Rudwick). When we were at Loreto, Libby Rudwick stood at the centre of a comfortable triangle of friendship. Libby Rudwick was my "best friend", and Libby Rudwick was Libby Skippen's "best friend". Libby Skippen and I were friends, but not "best friends", though we shared the same parties, group of friends, and university years. Through the years, by the chances of fate, Libby Rudwick and I fell out of touch, but through another chance of fate, Libby Newman's life and mine ran on parallel paths, we shared the devastating experience of marriage break-up, and for the last five years, she has been my "best friend". Her dying and death have put Libby Rudwick and me back in touch, and I hope to share future times with my oldest "best friend." Throughout all of life, the two Libbys have remained "best friends". They have supported each other through the birth and growing up of children, serious illness, caring for parents and their dying, and marriage difficulties and testing times. They have always been there for one another. And, in Libby Newman's illness and dying, their lifelong friendship was of the essence. They were together in Hobart in the early stages, when Libby was mysteriously tired, and thought she was suffering from burn out; when she was diagnosed in Hobart with inoperable lung cancer; in Melbourne for further cancer diagnosis; for the interventions that had to take place - surgery to remove the brain tumor, and radiotherapy to shrink a tracheal tumor; through the days at home in Brighton, when Libby Goodsir and Alexis Newman (Lib's beautiful daughter) oversaw a river of visitors, watching over Libby anxiously, and surrounding her with love and happiness. Anyone visiting was instructed to leave their sadness at the door. They were together during her hospital stay, and during the last days, when Lib decided it was time to die. At the funeral, Libby Goodsir spoke of the inspiring way that Libby Newman died, and how she is now free, and she is certain that Libby will look after us for the rest of our days. And so, Libby Goodsir, and Libby Newman's three children: Matthew (Buzz), Alexis (Goog), and Anthony (Pang) and her sister Sue Hall and her family were privileged to see at first hand the inspiring way she handled her terminal diagnosis, and dying. From the start, she was calm and happy about it, convinced that she was entering a new and exciting stage of her journey. She had loose ends to tie up with various people, and she went about doing that systematically and lovingly. My brief time with her I shared with Barbara Anderson (Reilly) when we flew down to Melbourne to see her in hospital, and spent three hours with her, laughing, talking, being inspired by her calm acceptance of death. What she had to say to me, she said, and I will always remember it. She sent to all of her many friends a card, designed by her daughter, Alexis and her niece, Dominique Hall, in which she dictated her acceptance of the "slight hitch" she was experiencing, and saying that it is "the true beauty of my friends that give my days warmth and my nights sparkle". Lib was always open to signs of her mother's presence in her life after her death, and during her dying days, there were many rainbows in Melbourne, often on the Tuesdays that marked the milestones in her journey towards death - her diagnosis was on a Tuesday, her interventions were all on Tuesdays, she died on a Tuesday and her funeral was a Tuesday. The two Libbys knew that the mothers were watching over them. The booklet for her funeral was contained in the card that Lib had sent to all her friends, with the addition of lots of sparkles, so that everyone got covered in sparkles, and all day, when people were talking to one another, it was impossible to be sad. Why be sad when the person you are talking to, has three big sparkles on his nose!? The funeral was at St. Finbarr's in Brighton, and led by Father Lou Herriott, on a beautiful sunny day. The church was packed with people of all ages, and Father Herriott remarked that there was not a person in the church whose life had not been touched by Lib's amazing capacity to love. The tributes to her, given by Anthony Newman, Libby Goodsir, John Hall and Rolf Howlett, all centred on this, as well as her joie de vivre, her love of a good chat, her incredible energy, and her love of dancing on tables and of parties in general! There were beautiful songs, including A Satisfied Mind and The Rose. And as her coffin was carried out, my two daughters, Caroline and Lisa, sang "Like an Eagle". For the rest of the day, we sang and danced and celebrated her life, with no sadness. "Like an eagle I will soar above the clouds, I will spread my wings and fly into the sun.All of Libby's family and friends agree that she IS watching over us, now, just as she did when she was alive. Lee FitzGerald (Shiels) Libby's funeral booklet |
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